Ah, the holidays. The time of year when we gather ‘round the dinner table to celebrate joy, love, and gratitude—and the time of year when you remember that coordinating family events is a lot like herding cats. There’s the aunt who insists on making the potato salad just like mom used to, even though no one asked her for it. The cousins who can’t agree on what’s considered “classic music,” and don’t even get me started on the seating arrangement dilemma (who gets to sit next to Grandma?). If you’re in charge of coordinating a holiday event for the family, you might be feeling more like a party planner than a participant. But don’t fret—we’ve got you covered with tips for keeping your family event running smoothly, your stress levels in check, and maybe even your dignity intact.
Set Clear Expectations and Boundaries
The first step to a successful holiday gathering is managing expectations. Let’s face it: no family holiday event is ever going to go exactly as planned. Someone is going to show up 30 minutes late. There will be an impromptu debate over which movie should play next. And inevitably, someone will spill candied yams on their lap. It’s inevitable. So, set clear expectations early. If you’re hosting, let everyone know the schedule in advance. Dinner at 6? Make sure people know, so they’re not arriving in their pajamas at 8 pm ready for dessert. And, let’s not forget the boundaries. If you’re organizing things, kindly but firmly communicate what’s needed from family members. Aunt Brenda doesn’t need to bring her famous fruitcake (unless you want to start a family feud). If you’ve designated someone to handle dessert or drinks, don’t let anyone "help" unless it’s truly necessary. Boundaries, people, boundaries.
Plan the Menu Ahead of Time (and Keep it Simple)
We all know the pressure of creating the “perfect” holiday meal. It’s the one time of year when people expect their mashed potatoes to have the right amount of creaminess and their ham to be glazed just so. But honestly, there’s only so much cooking you can do before you start questioning if the oven is secretly conspiring against you. Keep it simple, folks. While you may feel the urge to make five different types of side dishes (because you have to feed everyone, right?), aim for balance. A few standout dishes, along with a buffet of appetizers, will go much further than trying to create a five-course meal that would make Gordon Ramsay roll his eyes. Delegate the sides to your family members who’ve mastered the art of mac & cheese (yes, they’ve earned the right). It’s not about creating a Michelin-star meal; it’s about ensuring everyone’s fed and has a great time.
Embrace the Power of the Potluck
If you’re going all out and making everything yourself, we need to talk. Potlucks are your friend. The holiday season is stressful enough without you having to cook everything, serve everything, and clean up everything. The solution? Get your family involved. Assign different courses to different people. Trust your cousin who makes killer sweet potato pie to handle that. Let your brother-in-law with an infamous BBQ grill take care of the turkey. By embracing the potluck, you’ll not only reduce your stress levels but also ensure that there’s a variety of food—because you know that one family member will always complain that there’s not enough variety, no matter how many dishes are on the table. Plus, you get the satisfaction of knowing someone else is handling the stress of making sure the turkey doesn’t dry out.
Create a Flexible Timeline
Sure, we all like a schedule, but let’s be honest—holidays rarely follow a perfect timeline. People get caught in traffic, the kids spill juice all over the couch, and someone forgets to bring the key ingredients for the famous dip (because who needs to be prepared, right?). While having a schedule is important, a flexible one is even more important. Instead of obsessing over how everything fits together perfectly, focus on creating a loose flow. Dinner at 6? Great. But if Aunt Shirley’s flight is delayed, dinner might not happen until 6:30. Instead of throwing a temper tantrum (like I’m tempted to do), embrace the delays. The key is to roll with the punches and not make yourself lose your holiday cheer over minor hiccups. After all, the best moments often happen when things don’t go according to plan.
Designate a Cleanup Crew (or Hire One)
If there’s one thing everyone loves about a holiday gathering, it’s cleaning up afterward. Oh wait, no one loves that part. While you might be tempted to try to clean everything up before the guests leave (and let's face it, you totally will, because you can’t help yourself), enlist a cleanup crew from the start. Designate a few people in advance to help you with dishes and general cleanup. Set the expectation early—no one’s allowed to sneak off without lending a hand. And let’s be real, it’s the holidays. If you’re really feeling fancy, hire some extra hands to help. That’s right—while your family is dancing to "Jingle Bells," you can be sipping wine and leaving the dirty work to someone else. They’ll thank you for it later when the dishes magically disappear, and the counters are sparkly clean.
Set the Mood with Holiday Music (But Not Too Much)
You can’t have a holiday event without the right soundtrack. However, there's a fine line between setting the mood with some cozy, Christmas classics and throwing on "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" on repeat. (I don’t care what you say, it’s not a good song.) Set the mood with background music that’s festive without being overwhelming. Create a playlist in advance so you're not scrambling to find the perfect holiday jams. Keep the volume low enough that it’s there, but not blaring in everyone’s face. Nothing kills the holiday spirit faster than hearing "Last Christmas" at full volume for the 20th time. Keep it fun, but know when to hit the mute button. Also, just so you know -- Mariah Carey's holiday hits should always make the playlist.
Capture the Moments (Without Being a Photography Tyrant)
Everyone wants photos of their holiday celebration, but there’s a fine line between “let me get a few shots” and “we’re going to need 30 minutes for the group shot while I rearrange everyone like it’s an awkward family portrait session.” You know what I’m talking about—there’s always that one person who insists on getting the perfect shot, to the point where the entire dinner gets delayed. Let people enjoy the moments, but also make sure someone is capturing some memories. Whether it’s just a quick snapshot of the kids playing in the snow or a casual family photo by the tree, document the event—but don’t let the pictures overshadow the experience. After all, the best memories are the ones you live, not the ones you stage.
Coordinating family events for the holidays doesn’t have to be a nightmare. With a little planning, some delegation, and a healthy sense of humor, you can pull off an event that your family will remember fondly. Just remember: it’s about the people, not the perfect presentation. If the mashed potatoes are a little too salty or someone knocks over the punch bowl, it’s okay. The holidays are about connection, laughter, and spending time with those you love—even if that means you have to tolerate Uncle Bob’s annual complaints about the weather. Keep the focus on creating memories, not on making everything picture-perfect. And, most importantly, don’t sweat the small stuff. The best holiday moments come from the imperfections that make them uniquely yours.
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